Riding the Waves, Day 52- A Journey of Joy
I've taken you on plenty of journeys of grief. Let me take you on today's journey. One of lightness. One of joy.
I had two make-up classes scheduled today (as part of 8 classes to make up from the first week when I was in Gareth and his family.) I woke up refreshed. I started my morning in prayers of gratitude and asking God to be with me, guide me, and protect me. I showered and got ready for work. I picked out a bright pink tank-top to wear under my dress and applied bright pink lipstick to match.
The drive to work included Kim Wilde's "Kids in America" and the car windows down to let in the (finally!) warm spring air. I dropped my things off in the office. I was thanked for a stealthy weekend office sprucing up job that I did on Sunday. I made it to class with plenty of time to spare and 90% of my students showed up for the makeup class, which ended up being 50 minutes of hilarity and reason upon reason of why I love teaching.
With a few hours to spare until the next class, I walked the campus a bit. A wide field of grass would lead to a gathering of pines, crunchy pine needles under my black flats. Patches of sun to soak up. A flowering tree that, I kid you not, is the most deliciously fragrant one I've ever encountered. Bees were exploring the blooms like crazy and their activity looked like the most amazing and positive thing I've seen in years. I've never taken XTC, nor do I want to, but I imagine the way I stood under that tree, taking in the scent and watching the bees with complete amazement and wonder was not too unlike someone happily tripping their heads off.
I spoke to some of my favorite people today. A girl friend in Seoul. A guy friend in Daegu. Another girl friend in Gyeongju. My sister in St. Louis. My mom. My phone was alight with love.
After another successful make-up class, I spent a short time in the office, where a coworker walked in with a newly-purchased ukulele. Have you ever heard the ukulele played in person? Sheer happy feelings, right there. My butt wiggled. My mouth smiled. He played happy sounds and we talked happy talk and both of us made for big smiling with happy mouths.
After work I headed downtown to meet someone for coffee before Korean class. She shared about riding the waves, and she's had many to ride in the span of a few years. Lots of sudden loss. Lots and lots of loss. I asked her if she was afraid to get close to people for fear that they'd be snatched from this life in an instant and she said no. She said it makes her want to be MORE present with people. MORE with them. MORE in the moment. That connection with people is what it is about! She said this with joy, and I drank it in.
Korean class was good. My speaking partner and I delighted in my mad mnemonic device skillz for remembering Korean words and I accused the teacher of saying the word for "dick" when she actually said the word for "tea house," which was both embarrassing (for both of us) and quite funny (maybe for me only.) Either way, laughter was good.
Later in the evening a relationship that needed mending was mended. The power of love and forgiveness washed over us both and what was restored is the knowledge that I am well loved and that I also love well.
The waves will come and sometimes they will come quite abruptly and with force. But we must always remember that even the strongest waves dissipate and are drawn back into the greater ocean. Even the highest tides recede. And in those moments we are free to lay in the sand. Take in the warmth. Look up at the bright sun and the white clouds that lend our imagination to spectacular storytelling. Here is where we rest. Here is where we're restored.
(In Hadong, behind our apartment.)
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