skip past the first part
that I remember
bobbing in the water
was it a lake?
or an ocean?
skip past the part
where the water began
to swirl, to gain strength
skip past the fact that
I was floating there,
swirling there,
losing my point of reference
my entrance point on the sand
my way out
skip past the part where
I looked out and saw others
out there in the water
each in his or her own orange
inflatable raft. ignore the
part where I notice I, too, am
in a raft and how I know this
will not save me. how I know
it will not save us. we are all
being swirled and sucked under
skip past the second part
of the dream. the part where
I'm standing near a large
glass window perhaps providing
a view to the ocean. ignore the
part where my back is turned
when the glass shatters. skip
the part where I shield my face
from the sharp edges flying by.
go instead to the last part of
my dream. the one in which I
am a silent and unnoticed observer
in a hospital room. on the bed
is a young girl. 20s, maybe.
30s possibly. she is dark-skinned
and her head, what is left of her
head, is being cradled in her
mother's arms. the right side of
her face, left if you're looking at her,
has been severely burned. she is
deformed. she is in incredible pain
and she goes in and out of consciousness.
it was an accident.
a surprise. she didn't see it coming.
something about a burner.
something about an explosion.
something about no one expected it.
she is deformed. transformed.
she cannot go back.
she is in incredible pain.
she writhes and moans and
there is nothing her mother can
do to make anything better for her.
each time she comes to, she
sits up quickly and cries to
no one in particular: "I NEED
TO KILL MYSELF! I NEED
TO KILL MYSELF!" the
mother holds tighter, tightly, tight
and says, "I know, baby girl. I
know, baby girl." and once
again the girl falls back
head on the pillow. slips back
into temporary respite only
to be jolted awake again and
again. I watch this. I watch
this as I sleep.
Dear Dream-Weaver, Dear
Sandman, dear Dream-Catcher,
dear Mind of my Mind,
I get it.
I've never not gotten it.
Must you remind me?
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